My fall from Grace

I am stealing from a friend’s song today (@title). One of my favs.

I had long day yesterday. So long that during the lunch break I played out a scene of my disappearance. Right there at EABL cafeteria, surrounded by talking, feeding faces, I saw myself go. with each fork, each bite, each swallow. It came off like a suicide. It was a suicide. In fact, if I were to write it, I would call it My Suicide. except that in this suicide, I do not kill myself. I am more dramatic than that. a lot more.

Within five minutes of a free lunch, I had seen the near future. Myself crawling to the end of the earth, wandering the planet. sort of like, how the explorers went about it. Gone way beyond these parts of the world, figuring a new world, a different way of living, fresh rituals and spirituality. A different skin colour all together.
A place unaffected. Unknown. by neither of us.

I got through my lunch and concluded my day. I had spent most of it with Eddie Chicco my Photographer friend. He is lovely. He sort of held my hand through the day; by continuing to take pictures, encouraging me to be patient, and speaking to me in his own speacial language like the time he said to me: ” kati omwana nebwampa enkigambo si kiriza. Onkoye okuffa!”

Later in the evening I was with Ssali and Darius (lol. those two are something else). We had dinner, laughed and I went home. I was tired. I needed a shower. I went to bed.

This morning I woke up, and realised that I was mad at the people who were in charge of organising our photoshoot yesterday. I realised that if Chicco hadn’t been a good friend. and some one I have gone on other jobs with, he would have ditched me there. I was mad again when I discovered that these same people, today, have gone off on a trip without leaving his pay behind. I am mad at people who just don’t care about what they do. which then makes them screw up, every one else’s job.

I need to crawl off the face of this earth and wander the planet. Outside of my dreams.

….

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. mphoebe says:

    (((((back @ ya))))))

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