Dont read if you got responsibilities….

this space if for chillers….people who cant at all get through one sentence with out spell check. people who wont be bothered to think through their own mind, people who just don’t give a damn whether the white sock on the left leg matches the yellow one on the right….

 

God I have become one of those people who spends more than they have….especially when they know they have nothing. I make trips that I cannot afford, I live in places I cannot afford, I am girl amassing debt after debt after debt… am soon declaring myself bankrupt, not like i ever had any bank accounts.

Am the kind of person who cannot handle extreme emotional turns…big highs, and low lows in a space of 46 hours…not my thing. I dont know how to do it. Yet, working in the place that i do, that is the first test one must pass….well, I am retaking the class. But then again, by the time I get used to it I will be owing money to the world bank. My sort of therapies are sinking me under. 

Living in Treviso means that every time I go out on a shopping therapy i spend my one month’s allowance in things like, well, a pair of under wear and a jacket….I need more for the shoes, – Never mind that i shop in the “moderately priced store(s)”.

I went online yesterday, after having one of those small self-chats “I cant do this”, I cant take this on. Not now”, So anyway, I went online to check flights to Bristol. I have an open invite…whenever your world is crashing phoebe, find Easy Jet…(well, its not exactly like that, but still).

flight money aside; I carry an African passport that is not a South African passport, which means, that with the over twenty people i live and work with, am the only person who needs a visa for every little trip outside of the EU that i am to make.

Its annoying, its expensive, its time consuming….I have no mind space for any of those. Especially when am trying to escape.

okay…I have to pack up and get the bus now. I have to work tomorrow. Alex’s farewell Party is tonight….this is another thing i can’t get used to; Saying goodbye. Its always some sort of death. 

ps; this is what I have resorted to doing for fun lately (this is the free therapy am trying to take on)! Thanks Jqln

Bouno Weekend

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. tumwijuke says:

    Oh, and you are supposed to tell us about the Italian Stallion …

  2. tumwijuke says:

    And … one month’s allowance on underwear? Girl, what are you wearing?!

  3. mphoebe says:

    Tumwi ive convinced myself to write an entire post about Treviso- for you; the cobbled streets, the mini-castles that are every house built outside the wall, the elderly women in their pure white (real) fur coats, the boys that look exactly like something ripped out of a magazine- mainly because of the way they stand while, the window shopping husbands,the stores in where normal tags count from 150euros….the men and women who come out to the supermarket in stuff that would afford me a return trip to Uganda with a shopping stop-over in Dubai;
    And I wish I was exaggarating.

    I will send you my storybook life…although, I am only a girl holding this book, walking through its pages and stopping to gaze and sometimes curse at the books contents (every one of us at Fabrica is).

    Its a fairy tale without an ending….A real life fairy tale is always a nightmare…especially when one is witness to it (its like having your fatansies come to life)

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