Forgive me Father for I have Sinned…

1.I pointed and laughed at 2year old boy; he was stark naked,                                                                                                                   squating and peeing mindlessly on his parent’s persian carpet. it was new. It had                                                                              cost them loads……..and all this just happend in my head.

 2. I met a boy.  Tall, white and I forget what else.  He said he wanted to fuck me. I said I wanted to see him naked. He said he wanted to fuck me. I laughed at him condescendingly and touched his naked cheek softly; repeating what he had just said,  his self-assurance was charming. In a mythical world, a deer would dropped her deerly panties at this mentioned demand ( I think deers are sweet and adorable father. I would marry one If I was a deer myself). He said he would take me to heaven and back. I said, without opening my lips, “I live there darling. but thanks for the offer.” And this time, I came closer to his face, with the intention of kissing his cheek, I flat out laughed at him. “Thats it. I am not interested anymore. I have to go. All that was keeping me here was because I wanted to fuck you. Now its gone. I don’t want to anymore,” he stated, matter-of-catly.

Please don’t go. Dont leave me………pleasedontgo.

“Great. we are making progress with you two,” the imaginary proffessor said.

3. His birthday present was returned a week later- two weeks after his birthday. Nobody told me that it had been rejected because I didnt declare what was in the wrapped box. White box, latex, rubber, gause and skirmish…i declared. Two weeks later, the postman returned it: The Post Office wont have any of it…..It’s now in my flat waiting to be hand delivered as it should have been.

4. Sometimes I recycle: Paper and all such material in the big  bin. Organics in the orange one. Bottles on the side. I carry these three separate plastic bags, weeks later, in the middle of the night and deposit them respectively. But I have only actually been able to do this, and rightly Once. 

5. That I continue to support the popular banter: please don’t have love-relationship with her: by my (non) actions.

6. I haven’t phoned to speak to my grandfather since i moved to Europe.

7. I most hurt the people I love. And none of them has an idea how, everytime i have hurt them, for everyone of them it has left me badly destroyed. And feeling less, and less deserving of them. 

8. ………………………………………………………………………………………….

9. That I have been less thankful of the blessings that I have and the good luck I continue to knock about

10. cnb re0ughvnikf 0e4tikgrvf 30ikfdm,lf    kmfdlfmoerri0efklfkweorkc mcolkfoewiqfmkdfmsjawlc dkskefjfiej 

Ps: am starving.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. walkonby says:

    Kyana that’s some heart-felt stuff, is it real?
    If it is, don’t beat yourself up over it,
    easy does it 🙂

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