Like the original vagina monologues, this one is not about my ‘Grey Anatomy’, no. It is about the things that i as a woman, uniquely go through, in silence…. i cannot speak of them, especially in public. when i have to talk about them, it must be with a fellow woman, and in hushed tones- even when it is just the two of us in the room; the world has got invisible ears my friend.
It is things like my period. I am not supposed to say that i have a period- even if it was my first. And when the cramps kick in, mine can be terrible sometimes (there are times when, for a full hour, i have thought i am goin to die), and i cant go to work, am not supposed to tell my boss excatly why i wont be able to make it to office that day.
When i tell him, or any other person who asks why my face is cringing, why am crying and why i cant sit still, they make this face of “too much information.”
I try to let my boyfriends know about my cycle (obviously it changes, so its not like my exes keep tabs on me), only so they can understand why am irritable, and overly sensitive (emotionally) sometimes.
The most heated arguments i have had, have been when am experiencing PMS. it makes me a whole different person. I cry easily, i get frightened by even the slightest thing, i get pissed off by the tiniest of things…
So why am i blogging about this today?!
I am experiencing my dose of feb. Pre-Menstraul Symptoms; and i have become a little vegetable as a result.
Last night i witnessed a hit and run accident at the Jinja road round-about. it was a govt veichle, the new toyota hilux, grey; hit a boda-boda guy and his female passanger. They died on the spot, or atleast they were both unconscious, and i highly doubt that either one of them is going to live (if they werent already dead).
It was, for me, closer to home. i was, even right then, on a boda-boda. my friends use them just as often… so that lady could have been me or any one my friends. I went numb, then i was shaking, then i started to cry. i havent stopped crying.
I am pretty sure if this had happened on any other day, i would have been able to talk about it, to tell the story, to get mad at that driver who had no respect for the red light. I would be trying to get past it. I would have stopped crying, carrying on with the attitude “poor Souls.”
But this is not one of those normal days. i am experiencing pms. So you go figure