to go sit in a heavily air conditioned empty bar
no music… no television
Just the guy at the counter and a refigerator filled of drinks
I want to eat fattening food… with more calories than i can count
I want to run away/ hide from a girl called Carol… because she laughs.
she interrupts her own self with new kb.
she is not sure that what she has is what she wants to have, even after searching the world for it.
she disses every thing around her, even when there is nothing.
she forgets her phone on supermarket shelves, her house keys in her room and her money purse wherever…..
yet for some reason i cant stay away from her.
I want a black ice
A Cold Black Ice
I want to spend this evening with the man who continues to make me laugh especially when he is not trying. who makes me feel like just because i dont ‘get’ myself right now, just because whatever am going through right now may make me feel like i the world is comming to an end, The world ISNT comming to an end.
I want to go home and sleep not in my bedroom but my little cousins’… I dont want to be alone, i dont want to feel alone, atleast not tonight.
I want whatever this crap is that am going through to stop, to be finalised, because am losing a part of myself that i love so much. I am losing my natural happiness; the proud to be me happines. the satisfaction that i might be different, i might not have had what others have, most of my life but i still turned out great.
I want to have what is rightfully mine.
I have no energy to smile at that guy asking me to apply for Ugandan
citizenship. I cant see the humour in there, and strangely, it doesnt even come off as an attempt at sarcasm. I would know.