fuck u Exla. yeah. fck u.

they are salty, these my tears. Like my sweat, and as burning/irritating. but not really.

 they are cooler (cold) than my sweat these my tears. They don’t roll down in shiny beads all over secretive parts of my skin

 they drip in “tick.tick”  motion from within- like little rain-drops

they hit the ground in my head, sometimes rolling, extending farther to

 my chin.  And yet not even I can see them, for the party (pity) is ongoing but from  with in.

 I feel them, these my tears,

With my fingers, of both hands, i wipe my eyes. 

I know there isn’t anything there in,  still, i need to clear my view. 

 my vision has been  impared much longer than I should have let it and its only getting worse.

I need to see them for who they are. To excuse their melted fakeness only when i must. I need to see them for the scared, wimpy bastards that they are. To know and understand that a time comes, it always does, for them, when more than just one is too much to handle, too intimadating to fake-smile with.

And because they have no idea what to do, how to not plastic away, they act out, and pace up and down, and apologise for words unsaid, laugh about jokes made in bad haste.

I had a good 28hours. haven’t had a last night or a today. but somehow, some one, some people, thought it best to come and knock me about……………

pics?

The plan was to boycott images. and the only photo on my blog for a long time now has been my comments’ icon; a photo of my sister’s twins when they were about six months old. Well, this goes to show that when it comes to these girls, i just can’t play Activist.

 

and it took me three years!

jen and helma/laura

Like my earlier post incoherently tells, my sister and her amazingly beautiful look-exactly-the-same-daughters and her boyfriend Nick are visiting for a week as part of their summer holiday plan.

Seeing as I haven’t got my own holiday, and can’t exactly take a week off even when i have the option to, I hope to spend the afternoon tomorrow with them and most of wednesday. I originally asked for two full days off (tuesday and wednesday) to spend time with them, but i also don’t want to miss the Cameron Sinclair four day(s) workshop going on at Fabrica this week. So i decided to make a compromise; i two afternoons and maybe one fullday with them, that way I get participate and spend time with family at the same time (hopefully–)

and it took me three years!

jen and helma/laura

Names of people in the photos

Helma and Laura: 3yrs old, Holland.

My flatmate Jen (Jennifer Osborne, Photographer- Vancouver).

Myself, (Phoebe Mutetsi; writer, freelance journalist, researcher and bullshitter- Kampala, Uganda. Rwanda)

And Scott (Scott Heinrich; Sculptor, Film director, Creative art director, Story teller- Australia)

Current location for all: Treviso, Italy

 

bed time….its 3.23 am

Two Issues: Done!

…and there is just the three of us!

 

This has been a bloody long week. Not as frustrating as the last, but it was really long.

My family starts trickling in this weekend.

There is my sister and her twin daughters (3yrs) and her new boyfriend, driving over ten hours from Amsterdam to Treviso (I love family road-trips….Kampala-Mbarara: 3hrs! )

And Jacky (the mother to my best person in the whole entire world), who is also my Uncle’s wife; who is also the lady in whose house i spent so many happy years (she’s a great girl ) Is coming in next week.

problem though is; i broke my phone. I dont have her mobile and she has no way of contacting me……

Oh, and this was supposed to be an email, i just had no one to send it to. god Bless wordpress

I feel like going on and on, though. Like a real email. 

so i will:

I had a naked shoot this afternoon. It was all professional, nothing inappropriate. Not even when i had my hand around my (female)partner’s naked body (hips). The shoot was scheduled for the morning, but i couldn’t do it because i had been up the previous night finalising the two pieces i couldn’t finalise that afternoon because i was totally unispired ( the one statement editors around the world refuse to…)

Well any way; The shoot was done in the afternoon, between me writing and completing yellow pages, plus a few 700 words for Half-Fiction…there was slight cheating involved here.  Seeing as it is a version of one of the stories I had already done. Well its just version; same idea, same many things, But different.

At this point. I have no idea why am still going on. 

We are supposed to meet for drinks in about half an hour with everybody from the naked shoot. I just thought it would be a great idea to all see each other with clothes on, while we sip on priceless (literally) wine.  Whatever happened to Champaign.

So, anyway, if I go on writing am going to reveal to much. I have to wake from daze ( I need a good night’s sleep.- which i wont get today, because duh! am young, it’s summer, I need to go out (nothing happens in this town btw. All we ever do is go to this boat party every friday night and once you have gone there twice, you know all of it; terrible amateur rock bands  and, well, it’s not a fur-king yatch you know.

Okay, I must stop now. I have to keep looking at the big cookie. Keep doing more research to find a specific wealthy Iraqi refugee community in Amman Jordan Otherwise I wont be spending my much needed two weeks holiday in TelAviv.

OKAY. NOW I STOP.

did I mention that my entire family is visiting this coming week. About 7 people in total…..Be careful what you wish for, because I know its great, but its going to be a little overwhelming.

well, this is how humankind bes. The other day I was depressed that I am alone and forgotten, and now am going; Oh, wait, there is too many of you.

I have just remembered something. I have ever blogged like this before!!!!! oh, yeah. I was sleep deprived  that time as well. I was like five or seven days old in Treviso.

it’s funny, the stupid pattern of life; you do the same things when you are in the same situation without even realising it.

Now I seriously stop here.

I love Youuu! Youu love meeee……

This below is a reader’s reaction to the two pieces that were published in my last two monday my two Half - Fictions.

Here goes; 

Hi Phoebe M,

 

I chose never to b broke in my life

So I spend sparingly at the same

time work hard to make more.

Meaning I v some money on me

at all times but not free money

(leading a balanced life)